I’ve dealt with pent up rage most of my life in the form of CPTSD from chronic childhood trauma and the fact that humanity is basically insane. In my experience, So I’ve internalized it. But over the years, I’ve gotten better at being more conscious while venting it.
I’m pretty “high-functioning”, so I have my rage in check and I’ve never physically hurt anyone, besides in martial arts (consensually). But there’s so much rage, I wonder if it’s even possible to “fully” vent it all without ending up as a headline in the tabloids.
Being able to vent your anger and rage, especially when experiencing a PTSD/ CPTSD emotional flashback, is EXTREMELY important. Without it, we risk severely damaging ourselves, our relationships, and creating a very unsafe environment around us. The best way to heal from it is processing your emotions with the care of a professional Gestalt/ somatic therapist, but many times that won’t always be readily available when you become triggered.
And triggers can hit hard.
Processing a life full of suppressed rage isn’t something that can done with a workshop or week-long retreat, after which you then go back to your magically pure life as if everything was totally fine…. as if you just needed to take a huge soul-shit… Trust me, I’ve tried plenty of workshops and retreats.
Processing rage shakes you to your core and unleashes an avalanche of intensity. It opens the floodgates that can sweep you away. Because of this, it may not always feel safe to fully unleash all that pent-up intensity, even with a therapist.
So… what can you do with all that rage?
Luckily there are ways to deal with our anger and transmute the energy until we feel capable of maintaining equilibrium again. The best approach I’ve found to processing rage is taking it in stages from different methods as needed to become more “emotionally resourced”. Obviously since everyone has their own particular situation, your method(s) will depend on your circumstances.
For immediate catharsis during a storm of rage, use these methods as a go-to:
– Weightlifting (fuck yoga)
– Hitting a punching bag (or fucking pillows)
– Dancing to intense music (fuck Yanni)
– Using it as fuel for creativity (fuck apathy)
– Gestalt therapy or other somatic therapies (fuck talk therapy)
– Massage & bodywork (get in to your fucking body)
– Rough, passionate sex (with an understanding consenting lover who is as intense as you)
– Venting to a friend who can hold space for you (click here for my guide to holding space). If you have a good friend who can just validate you without judgement and match your level of crazy while keeping you out of jail, consider them a blessing and treat them like the angel they are. Because only when rage has the space to process can it finally begin to feel safe enough to let out the underlying vulnerable feelings of pain, sadness, confusion, and everything else in the seething swamp of suppressed hell that can’t be compartmentalized in to words and specific feelings. If they have a dark sense of humor, all the better.
If you have issues with rage or even just anger, you’re not alone.
I love talking with people about their anger and holding space for it. I LOVE intensity. I fully understand it.
I’ve learned that sometimes the anger is all you have, and it can be a gift. It can be the thing that fuels our creativity. It pushes us past the acceptance of evil or mediocrity. It’s an inner fire, a force of nature, that can be cultivated but never fully tamed. It’s a beautiful gift too powerful to keep bottled up inside. So let it out however you can, embrace it, and channel it to actualize a better, healthier life.
